The pressures of dowry in an increasingly materialistic society

Dowry – a practice persisting in our society since the times unknown, an act such customary that no one dares questioning its ethical implications.

“Oh! But those are only the gifts you present for they are our honorable relatives now. And, yes your beti will be facilitating them too.”

What I personally cannot understand is, how can a relationship turn into eternal bondage of love and serenity if it begins with the measure of property and vehicles?

It is true that the urban societies where we dwell today shed negligible light on the issues and the circumstances surrounding traditional institute of marriage. However, this is also true that a certain population is still pursuing the material exchange at the time of wedding.

Moving forth to the problems that might occur for the families indulging in this system is multi-faceted. On a larger level, there might be issues like such measures becoming a norm and people who fail to comply with the standards would be denied forming relationships or much worse, the pressure exerted by opposing party can cause depressing situations where heavy loans are taken and repayments may take lifetime.

While seeing from an individual level, parents may be unable to afford the demands made by their future in-laws. In the conventional family systems, people may deny a perfect wife for their sons because of the fact that they do not have the financial capability of fulfilling their demands. A pressure is also exerted from the comparative factor that is common in huge families. People feel that it is their rightful duty to give their daughters similar levels of gold, property and vehicles as the other girls in the family. The race of superiority and compliance may result in unsuitable boastful attitude and inferiority complex within the family members.

Considering the argument provided by people that the materials they provide are essentially for their own daughter and a token of love for the new couple but what is being negated in this regard is to exceed the bounds. It is permissible that you give your child as much as you want willingly but showing it off to the entire family and criticizing those who cannot reach the standard is denied. Setting certain levels is also not permissible, given the fact that our Beloved Prophet (S.A.W.W) departed his daughters from his house in most simplistic manner.

Ironically, the sacred institution of marriage which nourishes the society has been marred with dark customs. Daughters are being divorced and parents’ are being tormented with painful words merely because they cannot satisfy the in-laws with materialistic pleasures which are indeed the proof of mercenary venture that marriage has turned into.

We need a revolutionary approach of awareness to reach in the lower classes of the society. There has to be a program that makes people understand how marriage has been prescribed by Divine Laws and how we have made it the most difficult task of the current times.