Marital EthicsNovember 2, 2018
A vision for pregnant womenNovember 8, 2018
Her heartbeat raced as she braced herself to answer yet again, the same questions and inquiries. The “Haw and Haye” of society. Everyone knew she was having a baby girl. After a long wait, after many, many medical and emotional obstacles, the baby she was loving, cherishing and preparing for, was met with the evil eye and neglect of society.
“So sad to hear“
“Well, I suppose there’s always next year, although how old are you? Aren’t you already in your forties?”
“We will make dua for you, next time InShaAllah your family will be complete.”
“What will you do in your old age? Who will support you? How will your progeny continue? Maybe you can adopt?”
These seemingly “helpful“ comments can often dig at a mother’s heart. So many people grow to hate or fear to bring up their daughters due to these customs and mindsets which are literally from the “age of ignorance”.
However, have we not witnessed how a daughter can be a mother’s best friend, her support system, her forever companion? Even after a daughter has her own family, her own children, her love and concern for her parents continue to grow and flourish.
How common it is these days to see sons becoming so engrossed in their own families and responsibilities that often the parents feel ignored. It is not their fault. Allah has granted specific roles and responsibilities on each gender, each has their own nature.
A son does give one the opportunity to continue the family name, however, a daughter will always be her parents’ daughter, even after she is married. She cannot disassociate with her parents after signing the marriage contract.
A son has to support the family financially, but the right to earn has also been given to a woman. Have we not seen families with sons that are suffering financially and at the same time families with daughters could be blessed tenfolds!
The son makes a family complete, but so does a daughter. Both have their unique quirks and manners that tug at a parent’s heart! They cannot be compared. We often see those with sons yearning for a daughter and vice versa.
In fact, the value of daughters can be expressed through this Hadith;
The beloved Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) has stated that
“When a boy is born, then he brings one Noor (light) and when a girl is born, then she brings two Noors.”
In another narration ;
“Daughters are advantages and sons are graces. You will be rewarded for the advantages and asked about the graces.” – Imam As Sadiq
However, the following verse from the Quran teaches us to be content with whatever Allah wills
“For Allah only is the kingship of the heavens and the earth; He creates whatever He wills; He may bestow daughters to whomever He wills, and sons to whomever He wills. Or may mix them, the sons and daughters; and may make barren whomever He wills; indeed He is All-Knowing, Able.”
[Surah al-Shoora, Verses 49-50]