DowryJanuary 8, 2019
The C-Section StigmaJanuary 12, 2019
This is my personal unforgettable account of a fateful experience in my life. In 2008 I was pregnant with my fourth child and went for my pregnancy exam to Ayub Medical Complex, Abbotabad. In the lady doctor’s room a male Chinese doctor was also present. Before my turn a Muslim Afghani woman got herself examined by the lady doctor. I heard the doctor ask her about the number of kids she already has, to which she replied five or six; upon which the doctor advised her to get her tubes tied. The woman said if she did that her husband would surely find a second wife who could bear him more children. This somehow outraged the lady doctor and the horrible words she uttered and the way she said them, became forever preserved in my memory. She said shaking her head violently, “Such husbands deserve a tight slap on the face!” Then she turned around and started talking to the Chinese doctor in the room. I figured hearing their conversation that these doctors are granted special medical visas for performing hysterectomies for population control, through which they receive the previlidge to go on vacations to different countries.
In August 2008, I completed my third trimester but since my previous baby was delivered normally, I had no idea that I would be needing a C-section this time. My mother and younger sister had arrived at our place to assist us with the kids and house chores. During this time my husband was suffering from a stomach ulcer and had to be hospitalized for three days. The day he returned home my labor pains started in the night at around 1:30 am. Here I made the terrible mistake of not informing my unwell husband and my old mother; in order to let them rest, I bore the pain till morning. In the morning I went to the local community doctor near our house who told me that I would deliver by 1 pm most probably. But alarm bells had started to ring in my head! Something wasn’t right!
At 10 am I was rushed to the same hospital in an emergency. But the people there had no courtesy whatsoever. My husband could barely stand due to his stomach pain, my mother was a simple woman who had come from the village for the first time and I was in excruciating pain and still they sent us out to get an OPD slip made. Then they ordered us to get the blood arranged for the operation and hence we rushed from one counter to another while the staff casually discussed Indian vs Pakistani movies, least bothered about the emergency at hand. As a result at 5pm my unborn daughter died before being born and my uterus also got ruptured. During the emergency C-section my tubes were also tied. So I not only lost my beautiful baby girl that day but the honor of becoming a mother again was also mercilessly snatched away from me.
10 years have passed since then but my heart still bleeds! Allah SWT wanted yet another trial for me, in order to eventually increase His favours upon me in sha Allah, my marriage of 14 years ended; my husband wanted more babies and so did I. I longed for a miracle but that wasn’t meant to be! I pray Allah SWT make the 3 children He blessed me with, His honorable slaves. Amen
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